I was recently asked by the Goodmenproject.com to write an article about a study claiming women cheat because they want passion, while still loving their husbands and staying married. Other articles had already shredded the study’s validity so I wrote about other ways to spend that energy creating desire within the relationship you already have.

Here is what I came up with!

Last week, a provocative study was released claiming women cheat so they can experience passion, while staying married to their husbands. Why bother going to all the trouble? With the same amount of energy it takes to pull off a secret life, you can (re-) create passion within your marriage and no one gets hurt in the process.

Couples who struggle with a lack of passion are often doing one major thing that covertly undermines their sexual connection. Without realizing the impact it has on their desire for one another, they nurture their basic human need for certainty. They create a relationship that offers stability, safety and predictability— essential for a strong emotional connection.

They cling to their similarities and avoid activities they perceive will threaten their state of togetherness. This often includes disagreeing or arguing. This is the counter-intuitive mistake.
Too much certainty in the relationship breeds lethargy and boredom in the bedroom.
Humans have an equal and opposing need for uncertainty, mystery and adventure. Couples must learn to tolerate the discomfort that comes with separateness and even conflict…