Hello gorgeous… I have a message I need to share. It’s more like a warning actually.

And reading this may piss you off but hear me out!

There is an epidemic among high achieving single women

It seems impossible to believe and is a true paradox, because these women are so incredibly successful in their careers and we wouldn’t think it to be true but it is.

It’s the epidemic of low self worth.
Beliefs that formed from an early age that her worth and value come when she achieves and accomplishes- has led her on a path of constantly seeking approval, acceptance and validation.

It’s an unconscious quest of proving her worth from external sources such as work achievements, athletic pursuits etc- and yes, from men too!

And while this has worked FOR her in her career- it slowly chips away at her soul and erodes any chance for developing true genuine sense of worth.
This manifests itself and rears its ugly head mostly in her romantic life- where she shows up with men, seeking his approval, needing his acceptance of her to deem her worthy.

Her ‘enoughness’ depends on him wanting her, desiring her, picking her, fighting for her- to the degree that every rejection feels like a stab in the heart and takes a toll on her confidence and worth.
So these high performing women like doctors, CEOs and VPs, women we see walking down the street- seem to have it all on the outside but this is secretly her reality on the inside and it’s an exhausting and heartbreaking experience that she hides from everyone.
And it’s a vicious cycle because the more she doubts herself, and approaches men and relationships from this deep place of lack and scarcity and fear- the more she creates relationships with men that are toxic, dysfunctional and unhealthy.

*She picks men who are not as successful as she is so she remains ‘better than’ and her deepest fear of not being enough- will never be realized. 

*She enters into relationships with men who are unavailable so the deep intimacy, bond and closeness can’t even form, keeping the relationship superficial and safe but lacking- and if he can’t give her what she wants, there is a logical reason for it rather than it being about a personal rejection.

*She attracts narcissistic men and she loses herself by accommodating and capitulating – fearing he will leave if she speaks up.

*And she dates men who need her- so that her fixing, rescuing, caring and nurturing ways give her value to him so he will never leave and she can remain in control.

And all of this unconscious behavior ends up creating the very hurt and rejection she is so desperately trying to avoid because these men can never give her what she needs or wants in a relationship- only reinforcing her unconscious belief that she is not enough, not worthy or deserving of love and experiencing a sense of chronic abandonment. 

So she finds herself with a high level career, a lovely home, great kids and the financial means to enjoy a fabulous lifestyle but no one special to share her life with.
It’s an internal contradiction – a vast disparity in the level in which she is living in these parts of her life.

A true paradox.

And the worst part isn’t not having a companion- a true equal partner, but how she feels about herself.

Her relationship with her self is painful and full of conditional love- and she puts the onus of feeling unconditional love onto her idealized partner.

She doubts herself, questions herself, doesn’t trust herself and her inner critic is overactive- even keeping her up at night or distracting her from her work or from being present with her kids.

This is truly an epidemic [First Name]!

So if this sounds like you, just know this…

*You’re not alone
*It doesn’t have to continue being this way
*This is our specialty and who we help!!!

Book a Love Breakthrough call with us today so we can help you close the gap between how you show up at work and how you show up with men so you can finally end the constant seeking and just feel at peace knowing you’re loved and enough! (first by your own self… and then by a high caliber man who wants the same thing in a relationship that you do!)

Much love

Hilary X

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