January is known as divorce month because so many people, unhappy in their relationships, finally pull the plug after one last holiday season. I’ve worked with men, women and couples since 2001 and what I know to be true- are these few things:
1. So many people who are unhappy in their relationships will stay for years in a half-in and half-out state. They stay for loyalty, for the kids, for fear of being alone or hurting their partner (all good reasons).
2. Most of the time, these people think they have “tried” to work on their relationship and they are willing to do the work too! Perhaps they have read books or gone to therapy but nothing changed. This is likely because they haven’t been focusing on the right things to make their relationship better (there is a lot of well meaning people pushing bad information out there)
3. Staying in this limbo state year after year is almost as painful if not more than divorce- it’s emotionally exhausting and all consuming to wake up and think about your relationship status all day everyday.
4. Most people end up leaving eventually and at first feel relief and then they miss their family unit tremendously but it’s making the decision that is the part that is healing.
5. No one can make this decision for you- only YOU! But you must make a decision.
On today’s episode I share my tool “Determining Deal-Breakers” to help you get clear about whether you should stay or go! I hope it helps- and please share it with anyone you know who is in this situation.
Subscribe: Hot, Healthy & Happily Ever After – Hilary Silver
Hilary Silver, LCSW is a marriage therapist and relationship counselor in Denver, CO, and the creator of Hot, Healthy & Happily Ever After. She specializes in helping men, women and couples learn the secrets of keeping the love and passion alive for the long- term. Visit www.hilarysilver.com for more information!